Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
honey bunches of taint.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
