I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
