Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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