Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
