summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
