I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
