and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
