its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize