Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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