this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
