yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
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Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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