I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
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I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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