Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
