Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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