Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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