you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
