Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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