why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
