I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
