# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
