People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
