I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
the raccoons are back...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize