This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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