If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
