I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
