and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
