I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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