bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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