so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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