But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
