piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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