epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
