He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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