what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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