you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
