he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
