You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
