So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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