Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
