Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
