i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize