you win again, gameday.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
