apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
