her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize