Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize