Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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