Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
