does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
