About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
