I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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