Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
