Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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