Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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