I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
