I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
