you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
