My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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