Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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